HELO DUNIAWI ALAMI..
UHUK UHUK..BERHABUK BERSAWANG.. SESAK SENAK MENGHIRUP UDARA DI RUANG KOTAK JIWA INI..
2012 YANG KATANYA AKAN BERAKHIR TRAGEDI MASIH MEBILANG HARI..SETIAP HARI ADALAH TRAGEDI..

SIRI PERTAMA EDISI 2012
OH HIDUP BAGAI NERAKA DUNIAWI.. DISIMBAH DUGAAN DEMI DUGAAN, BERCUCURAN RENYUK, RUNTUN SETIAP CEBISAN ZAHIR INI.. PATUT SYUKURI GUA MASIH GAGAH BERJASAD.. KERNA PASTI UNTUK PERGI BUKAN SEKALI GUA CUBA LARI.. LARI YANG PASTI.. LARI DARI ALAM INI..SEPERTI GUA TAU APE YANG MENANTI..SEOLAH DISANA GUA PASTI HAPPY.. SEDANGKAN DISINI GUA LUPA MANA JALAN SYURGAWI..

DI LALUAN JALAN INI GUA MASIH MELANGKAH LEMAH MENCARI SATU JALAN PASTI.. KENAPA JALAN INI YANG GUA TEMPUH GUA TAK PASTI.. YANG PASTI KAKI INI SEMAKIN HARI SEMAKIN LULUH DIUSIK DEDURI TAJAM HARUMAN DUNIAWI..DI JALAN MANA GUA PATUT CARI? JALAN HIDUP JALAN MATI..

KECUNDANG LAGI PERMAINAN HAKIKI.. ENTAH UNTUK BERAPA KALI LAGI PATUT LALUI.. BAGAI HILANG PEJUANGAN ABADI.. PERJUANGAN KHALIFAH MENJAGA BUMI..GUA TERSANGKUT PERANG SENDIRI.. PERJUANGAN SURVIVAL MENCARI IDENTITI.. GUA HILANG MAKSUD ALAMI.. GUA HILANG APA UNTUK DICARI.. GUA HILANG ARAH DIRI..

SEJAK 'DIA' PERGI.. TAHUN KEEMPAT TAHUN INI.. GUA PIKIR HIDUP BOLEH BERHENTI..MUNGKINKAH KITA PUNYA KUASA UNTUK HIDUP DAN MATI..PILIHAN ITU DITANGAN KANAN ATAU KIRI? HIDUP BUKAN UNTUK MENANGISI.. GUA MAHU RASA DITANGISI.. KETIKA BERDIRI TIADA PEDULI.. HANYA PADA YANG PERGI MEREKA AKAN MENCARI.. BILA TIADA DISISI.. BILA MATI.

MUNGKIN YANG DISANA KATA GUA DAH TAK SEDAR DIRI.. BERCERITA MERAPU TENTANG UNTUK PERGI..
MUNGKIN SEPATUTNYA GUA SUDAH TIADA LAGI.. JIKA BUKAN SANG PRIA MENARIK GUA LARI.. PASTI GUA HANYUT SENDIRI..

SANG PRIA BERSUARA DIKALA SUNYI.. DATANG DENGAN CACIAN DAN MAKI.. SEBAB TAU GUA HILANG DIRI..PUJUK RAYU TIADA BEERTI..EMOSI TINGGAL MEMAKAN DIRI. APE GUNA CACI MAKI.. SEKEJAP GUA SEDAR DIRI.. SEKEJAP GUA LUPA LAGI.. TAPI SANG PRIA MASIH TERUS BERPEGANG PADA TALI..BERKALI-KALI DICUBA TARIKKU LAGI..TETAPI SANG PRIA BUKAN UNTUK DIMILIKI..INGIN SKALI GUA BAWAK LARI..PRIA PERGI KU LUPA MAKI.. PRIA SENDIRI SEDANG MENCARI..

INI BUKAN KISAH HATI.. HATI SUNYI BUKAN MENCARI.. HATI SUNYI KERNA DAH MATI.. HANCUR LULUH DIMAKAN DIRI.. AKAL CUBA MENGEMUDI.. TAPI AKAL SELALU DIAMBIL SIPI.. MERAJUK AKAL HILANG LAGI.. HANYA ADA JASAD BERDIRI.. MENCARI JALAN TAPI TIADA MENCARI.. TEGAK BERDIRI HANYA MEMERHATI.. UNTUK TERUSKAN JASAD XRETI.. KERNA HILANGNYA AKAL DAN HATI.. ARAH HIDUP GUA NAMPAK SEPI..

SIAPA KATA GUA MERUNGUT MEMAKI DIRI.. HANYA CUBA LUAH APA DISINI..
TAK KIRA JALAN MANA AKAN GUA HARUNGI.. LIFE IS INDAH ITU YANG PASTI

HIDUP SAKI BAKI LATELY

HIDUP SAKI BAKI LATELY

WUHUUU..

KNOCK2.. ANYBODY??

 HUHU..SUNYI SEPI TIADA PENGHUNI. SESLOW.GUA DTG LAGI.

LALU LALANG GUA INTAI SANA SINI. SCENE BLOG KURENG LER KINI.TAPI GUA RASE CAM NK CACI MAKI.XDEK TMPT LAIN, KAT SINI TMPAT BESTARI, PELUK CIUM GUA KAT DIRI SENDIRI.

2 TAHUN KEBELAKANGAN GUA DIAM XBERBUNYI.TAPI DIAM-DIAM ADE UBI.DIAM-DIAM SUSUN DIRI.GUA KINI LAGI DIAM LAGI SEPI.SESENYAP DI CORNER CARI DIRI.

PATAH TUMBUH HILANG BERGANTI.ORANG CKP SENANG TAPI MANA MAU CARI.

HILANG TAHUN TIADA BAKI. HILANG DIRI TIADA GANTI. HILANG NYAWA TAK KAN KEMBALI.HILANG MONEY KENA LA CARI.SENANG2 KATA ADA YANG MARI.MACAM MANA ADE NAK CARI. SEMUA PINTU HILANG SUDAH KUNCI.

AYAT MAKI TIADA BERBUNYI.SIKIT SIMPAN DALAM HATI. SENANG-SENANG 2 TAHUN KO BUAT AKU CAM BALACI. KO DATANG MINTAK DI ISI.TOLONG-MENOLONG SEBAB DULU DI HATI.BERKEBUK KU HILANG KONON NAK GANTI.HUJUNG BULAN DH BERAPA KALI. TUP TUP KO KATA KO ADE PENGGANTI. AKU SI BODOH KO NAK MINTAK FREE.INGAT AKU HARD DISK KE KO NAK WAT BACK UP PC. WATPE NAK TAYANG MUKA KO LAGI.XYAH MEMACHO AKU XSUDI.

LAGI YANG LAIN NAK PESAN KAT SINI. KALAU AGAK2 DAH ADE KEKASIH MERANGKAP BINI. WATPE BERMANIS MULUT BADAN BINASA.YANG MANE PASTI TAU YANG AKAN TERLUKA.PASTU ESOK SEDAR SAYANG KEKASIH SAMA. XPAYAH DICARI OPTION BERJELA.HIDUP SATU TAK TONGKAT MANA.LANGIT KAN REBAH TIADA BERPUNCA.JAUHKAN DIRI DR DIMURKA. HIDUP SKALI MATI PUN SAMA.

INI SEBAB KU MENULIS LAGI. TIADA FUN SEMUANYA NANTI ESOKKAN KU CR GANTI. NI CITER DARI HATI.MEMBENGKAK SENDIRI KU XNAK LAGI.GUA LAYAN GITAR GUA,KU PETIK TALI.TEARS MENITIS KU TAHAN SIPI.BUKANNYA SAKIT AIR JE NI. XPAYAH NAK JUDGE XPAYAH NAK KEJI. HEY GUA KINI KEMBALI. LU XSUKE SILA MINTAK DIRI. GUA DEGIL GUA SUKA HATI. LU NAK PERLI TENGOKLA DIRI. DULU LU PUN SAME CAM GINI.CAM GHANE BAK KATA PN JAMI.GUA TAK KACAU LU,LU XYAH NK TAYANG DIRI. GUA PUNYE LA SAKIT HATI. JOM PINDAH. LEPAK LONDON KE SKALI.

NOBODY.. NOBODY.. BUT..

I AM NOBODY TO ANYONE..

PASSING TRU DAYS.. READING ALL SORT OF BLOGS.. I WENT TRU MY EX'S PAGES.. READING.. HOW THEY ARE ALL MENTIONING BOUT THEIR LIFE.. SOMEHOW I REALIZE.. HOW NOT REAL I AM TO ANYONE.. I READ HOW THEY CONFESS THEIR LOVE TO THEIR LOVER.. THEIR EX.. TO THEIR LOST LOVE.. BUT I NEVER PART OF IT..EVEN BEFORE WHEN WE ARE STILL IN RELATIONSHIP. MAYBE IM JEZ PART OF THEIR JOKES. SOMETHING REALLY NEED TO BE FORGOTTEN.. ITS NOT THAT I WANT IT BACK..NOR I WANT THEM BACK.. BUT.. HOW PATHETIC I WAS IN LOVE BEFORE BOTHERS ME.. I DONT MIND IF PEOPLE DIDN'T  TREAT ME RYTE.. OR CHERISH ME LIKE ALL GURLS LOVE TO.. I NEVER THOUGHT ANY OF MY RELATIONSHIP WOULD HAVE A DEAD END.. IM ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT I WILL END UP MARRYING THE GUY N HAVE A WONDERFUL FUTURE AHEAD ME.. STUPID ME.. 

SELF PITY POST LIKE THIS IS NOT HELPING ANYTHING.. I LOST MYSELF IN THIS BATTLE SEARCHING FOR SOULMATE.. NOW IM FAITHLESS. I HAVE NO TRUST IN RELATIONSHIP.. EVEN MYSELF.. I COULDN'T ACCEPT MY OWN SELF.. IM JEZ AN INVINCIBLE CRICKET OF A BIG FIELD.. NO ONE WILL EVER NOTICE.. APPRECIATE ME? LAST THING THEY WILL DO..

SEKAT

ARGH...TETIBA RASE SEPERTI MAU MENGAUM..

HIDUP INI KASAR..KERAS..SAKIT..

KERINDUAN KEPADA KEHIDUPAN YANG AMAN. TANPA GUNDAH SESAMA MANUSIA.

SESAMA BERNAFAS.SESAMA BERDIRI.SESAMA HIDUP.SESAMA BERCINTA.

JS YANG DIKALA GUNDAH TIBA MUNCUL INDAH,HILANG BERSAMA GEMBIRANYA HIDUP DENGAN TEMAN SEINDAH ALAM MEREKA YANG MENGGANTIKAN PENAT LELAH BERSAMA WALAUPUN BUKAN UNTUK DIUNGKITI TAPI HANYA PERLU DIHARGAI.DIRI INI TAK PENAH MELUPAKAN WALAU SESAAT.

MUNGKIN HANYA DIKALA SUSAH DAKU INI PERLU ADA.KALA ALAM INI SENANG DAKU DITINGGALKAN BERSAMA SAMPAH..DEBU..DURI DUNIA..SENDIRI.

JS YANG HIDUP DI ALAM SENDIRI..DI DUNIA HANYA DIRINYA YANG TAU.DI DUNIA HANYA BELIAU ADALAH SYURGA.BELIAU YANG MENENTUKAN SEGALA PERJALANAN.KEPENTINGAN DIRI DIUTAMA.TANPA BELAS KASIHAN TERHADAP SI PESALAH YANG TERBANG DI AWANGAN.SESAT DAN SESAK BERSAMA NAFAS SENDIRI YANG TIDAK TENTU YANG MANE YANG BETUL MANA YANG MUNGKAR.SESAK SEBAK MENCARI ERTI DIRI SENDIRI YANG TELAH PUNAH DIMAMAH KEBERSALAHAN YANG ENTAH APA SENDIRI KEKELIRUAN.

KESILAPAN DEMI KESILAPAN MENGHANTUI KEHIDUPAN YANG BELUM PASTI PENGHUJUNGNYA.NUKILAN PERAHAN RASA JIWA HANYA MERUNTUN SEGALA YANG ADA.SEHINGGA KEKUATAN ITU HILANG.HILANG BERSAMA HARGA SEBUAH KEEGOAN YANG SATU PERSATU MENJADI ANGIN DIBAWA MASA.HINGGA KINI BAGAIKAN SERPIHAN CUMA.HILANG DIBUAI MIMPI INDAH SEMALAM.KINI HANYA KENANGAN.

hatred:self destruction

every step i make to get closer..

hundreds of reasons jez come n drag me away..

the more i try to make it real..

the more i fake it..

choices are made to be choose..

life is not a fate..

its about choices we made to live..

things are slipping away..

i cant do the same mistake..

i have no time for mistake..

time is running out..

if die is one of the choices to live my life..

Like a sunset, dying with the rising of the moon..

i would want it fast..

i would want it soon..

i cant bear this pain..

not this..never again..

life is not that INDAH anymore..

perhaps life never were..

p/s-lala n yayan.i need u.

for 'Zay' da vampire half blooded alien (r.i.p)

I wonder through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
And I stood at a distance
To feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes

And hold on before it's too late
We'll run til we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you dont live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it's gone

Hold on before its too late
We'll run til we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

So live like you mean it
Love til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it's gone

And hold on before its too late
We'll run til we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

And hold on before its too late
We'll run til we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that I need in my life

(i will always be ur friend)

_before its too late..goo goo doll

Song lyrics | Before It's Too Late lyrics

BIAR..

malam,
jangan kembalikan siang,
biar bulan terang,
biar bintang datang,
jangan biarkan siang,
biar mimpi teman,
biar aku tenang.

Siang,
Jangan bawa rahsia,
biar ia ada,
Jangan lepaskan rasa,
biar ia ada,
aku enggan rasa,
biar ia ada,
jangan biar aku jaga.

Roh,
jangan tinggalkan rasa,
jiwa meronta mencari punca,
deria hilang kuasa,
hati cuba,
merana.

bak kate am.."bila dia muncul lagi"

saye xdpt nk lupakan..
die xdpt buat saya lupa awak..
die xsame..
saya rindu awak..
hanya awak yang mampu..
saya sayang awk sorg je..


kata-kata hati kecil :
what ever...u such a liar..
eat ur own words pliss..
cam jilat balik ludah sendiri aje..

LET IT GO!!!

ehsan page la tahzan @ don't be sad


There are people who can walk away from you and hear me when I tell you this - when people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.

Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

And if they are not joined to you, you can get super glue and you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of goodbye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know what ever God means for me to have He will give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to
stay. Let them go!!!

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...Let it go!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...
Let it go!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...Let it go!

If someone has angered you...Let it go!

If you are holding on to some thoughts
of evil and revenge...Let it go!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship
or addiction...Let it go!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer
meets your needs or talents...Let it go!

If you have a bad attitude...Let it go!

If you keep judging others to make
yourself feel better...Let it go!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying
to take you to a new level in Him...Let it go!

If you are struggling with the healing
of a broken relationship...Let it go!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...Let it go!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed...Let it go!


If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying
"Take you hands off of it," then you need to...Let it go!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. God is doing a new thing for you! LET IT GO!!!

Get right or get left...think about it, then...LET IT GO!!!

Let God's love, peace, and blessings be with you always...

The past cannot be changed...the future is still in your power!

"Life is precious, handle with PRAYER!"

sepi

wah...nak cerita pasal citer ni laa..
sedih...
menarik...ade banyak persoalan..
cinta tak datang sekali...
mungkin..
apesal la jiwang pulak..mungkin sudah sebati didalam jiwa inih..ewaahh...
klu datang lagi pun...
cinta ke tu?
mainan emosi??
permainan dikala kemurungan??
mungkin..
atau..die datang..untuk stay..tapi dunia..tiada ape yang mustahil..ape ape saje boleh jadi..dtg n meragut..
mungkin happy lain nak datang,,
atau menguji diri untuk setia and menunggu..
mungkin..
persimpangan..
setiap kejadian..


tgk ayat die..
erm..
ade kah ini sejenis paksaan??
atau kita yang tak dapat menerima takdir sesuatu kehilangan??
erm..
nanti saya fikir ok?

terasing

mgu ini is the worst,,
things jez happen..
and everything is jez like pouring down like rain on me..
ciduk still not talking to me..
my housemate marah me for a reason dat wasn't mine..
sam antar msg blame me as well..eventhough its wasn't me at all..
n of cos.. what did happen few nites ago..
it really haunted me..
n people judge me..jez keep on judging..
and for god sake.. i demam!
when i cut my wrist..ok..im stupid..everyone said im stupid..
but when come to real world.. people dun really care of what happen to me..
they jez need me to be a place to be blame on..
but..whenever they needed my hand.. do they ever think of what they did to me..

today when this happen...
i feel hopeless...
no one to be blame as for myself..
few of you knows what happen to me this few days..
please dont make harder for me..
as a friend..
i dont want to state everything that happen here..i know few of you read this...
jez try to be sure for what had you wrote..
jangan rase diri tu betul sgt if nak salahkan org lain
pk ape yg kamu dh buat kat org lain..
and org lain thn je..
pikir..
u r still young..
so much that u didn't know bout life..
jez thank to god everything is still under control..

and for si dia..
please look at me as you look at me before..
you dont have to hate me of what i didn't do..
u dont have to go..